NormBlog

okay, so if you knew me in high school or in college, i could have been described as an angry gentleman. i was very angry. i had so much anger that it spilled out into everything i did, especially my writing. many times, what i wrote was completely fuled by hate and anger.

these days, i’m not really that angry of a person. i often wonder where the anger has gone. but last night, for i think the first time, i wondered at what i was angry. this is the conclusion i came to, i was angry at high school. for a lot of things: not preparing me AT ALL for college, the stupid things i was required to do EVERY DAY, the dumb people, the unfairness of the education system in illinois and the chicago suburbs, and a lot more.

i know that i’m still angry at high school, but no where near the levels i felt before. my anger has faded into the background, as time and life have moved me further away from high school. so, i’m left with a question: does this mean i have grown up? am i an adult because i’m no longer so mad at the world?

does anyone else feel this way?

:P

so, i updated to the latest version of wordpress and have changed my sidebar to be widget-ized. kinda cool, i guess.

i’ve been ignoring updating this thing for quite some time now. sorry about that. between everything in my life, i’ve had a hard time finding the energy to do anything computer related when not at work. i hope that my life changes will help me return to a better update cycle. i hope. thanks to everyone who has stuck with me during this dry spot. i think i know who you are. :)

anyway, a little spring cleaning and some new fun. good times!

:P

so, tuesday, april 22 is going to be my last day at my current job. i am reflecting a lot on my tenure at this job. it’s been fun. i learned a lot.

here’s to new scenery!

:P

it’s been a tough week. a friend died, and this has been a week of mourning and reflection.

I sorta came to a conclusion. one that seems obvious and obscure at the same time. when we lose someone, it hurts. but, it only hurts because we got something from the person we lost. it is important to focus on what we gained from those we have lost, and not on how much it hurts to have lost.

:P

so, you’re asking me why i haven’t written anything in such a long time.

first off, let me just say, “thanks for caring!” it really makes me feel good when you notice that my writing hasn’t been too regular for the last couple of months.

secondly, back off. what’s with all the pressure? i write when i feel like it. i’m not some monkey who dances when you organ-grind.

but, back to my writing, things have been really weird for me lately. i haven’t really been able to put sentences together for a while. mostly, it seems to be some kind of internal resistance to creativity. not all that long back, i went through my collection of writings. poking my head into this file or that one, just checking things out, really. and to my surprise, i found some stuff that i really kinda liked.

i’ve also been living. i don’t just mean sustaining life for the last little while, i mean actually going out and doing stuff. i’m starting to notice people on the street and deciding that they would make good characters. i’m seeing situations and possibilities that i haven’t seen before.

i’m also gearing up for the political season. i’ve been out of it for a while, now. i don’t see the players as clearly as i used to. i need to dive into the zeitgeist a little deeper. the problem i have right now is that i don’t have a reliable source of information. i don’t know where to go, what to watch, or who to listen to when it comes to these things anymore. i used to be inundated with information and now i feel like i can’t get any that i trust, or put any weight behind.

all of this is starting to make me formulate a plan. i want to do something different with this election/political season. i think i’m gonna go completely open-mind. i’m gonna look at all sources of information and evaluate all candidates, regardless of republican or democrat, regardless of experience. i’m gonna pick some ideas and make decisions on those ideas. i’m gonna go completely issue-based.

now, what issues to look at? that’s a good one. education, foreign policy, taxation, fiscal responsibility, domestic policy, trade, immigration, budget, and etc. what am i missing? how should i do this?

:P

This is a spam I got at work today. I think it’s kinda beautiful.

Fortunately, I had brought my notebook. Customer Review: This book is clear and easy to read. Does spontaneous, blurred vision interfere with you daily life? Here, instead of twittering on and on every few moments, you simply staple a camera to your head and stream your life to the world in real time. You’ll have concrete strategies and detailed information on how to protect your small or medium-sized business. They create blogs that talk about our tools, inspiring more people to buy the tools and make even more blogs! Best of all, they’re FREE! More Information Visit Our Sponsor Panama Hats Direct – All Styles Fedora Havana Optimoand more. “People with high levels of these two phytonutrients are at lower risk of both macular degeneration and cataracts”, Dr. The amount of petroleum that is used in and for food production is staggering. Even if you think your eyes are healthy, you’ll still need an eye exam from time to time. And those hills have excellent EV-DO coverage. I Purchased this book How to Reverse Diabetes and I am on my way. This Security Online Expo can help! Click here to post your resume and search job listings! There are three major causes of a lazy eye or amblyopia. ,  author of SuperFoods Rx. They become very red, puffy and swollen.

:P

Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.
–Voltaire

i have been reading a lot about pkd lately, most cuz my writing has stalled out a bit lately. one thing that keeps coming back to mind. those who are likely to believe in conspiracies are likely to take part in them. i ran across this voltaire quote a few days ago, and liked it. it seems to be saying the same thing i am, but better.

:P

it’s a short list:

sleeping, work, wii sports (boxing mostly), the mayday mystery.

the last one is my favorite. look here.

:P

maybe you know what i’m talking about and maybe you don’t. but this is actually quite cool.

i might have to post this way more often.

:P

http://www.philipkdickfans.com/main.htm

so, i was making the rounds of pkd sites and got sucked into reading some of the new interviews posted on the site above. and, interestingly, i realized that pkd was much more aware of his process and product than i had given him credit. which isn’t to say that it surprises me that he was, it surprises me that i would give him so little credit as an artist.

which brings me to a kind of point. i haven’t really experienced his books as “new”, meaning that in my world they have always existed; making his “process” irrelevant to my enjoyment. i have only ever experienced his writing as finished products. reading about him talking about his process has caused me to re-evaluate what it must have been like for him to produce his works; what it must have been like for him to drag them out of where ever.

more later.

:P